You say Polymath like it's a bad thing...

Perhaps not the most fortuitous idea

Monday afternoon before work found me on the couch browsing YouTube. I had gone so deep down the rabbit hole that I was watching some Russian talk-show featuring Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, and Tom Hiddleston (all of Avengers fame). It had English subtitles, and the actors (except for Mr. Hiddleston) were terribly awkward, watching the host speak in Russian, then listening to the translation in their ear pieces, and then trying to answer. It was somewhere between this clip and watching an entire episode of The Graham Norton Show that I realized that I was actually kind of hating myself and my life right then.

I spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet, and while we all know that the WWW can be immensely useful, it can be a vast and dangerous jungle as well. I’m not entirely sure when I crossed the line, but I realized it on Monday.

In answer, this has been my first stop on the interwebs since then, and I’ve only logged on to send a list of houses to our realtor. I also thought it might be worthwhile to make a post here. I am trying to detach myself from the internet before it consumes me, and being a creature of extremes, that means no internet. At least for a while.

My hope is that in disconnecting for a while, I will find the time I keep seeming to lack to take on projects. Mostly I’ve been rereading The Malazan Book of the Fallen, and I am enraptured by its brilliance. After that, however, who knows?

I will say that any time I do find myself online, I will pop in to read and drop a line. This might not be the best idea ever for a person who frequently waxes poetic/philosophic/crafty on the internet, but I honestly am out of ideas.

Keep it crafty!

Scratching the itch of nostalgia

My bet would be that most folks reading this blog have not danced with Windows 8 yet. I’ll admit it takes some getting used to, and mostly what I do, working at Geek Squad, is resetting computers or removing passwords because folks are returning computers.

Who cares about Windows 8, you’re probably asking.

9 times out of 10, I would say that I don’t. At all. However, I bring it up because you might not know that the default sign-in screen is an animated landscape featuring picturesque mountains…and the Space Needle.

Once upon a time, this used to be a common sight for me. This was a picture I took one morning walking from Eric’s house (when we were first dating) to my apartment on the other side of Queen Anne hill.

Now that fact of the matter is, I’m too young to be going on about “the good ole days,” but I’m not so young that I can’t get a little bit sentimental about the places I’ve been. And maybe having a weekend to myself and a little bit of vodka in my system isn’t helping, but I was thinking about work, thinking about Windows 8, and thinking about how immensely cool it is that I lived in Seattle. Me! Samantha Grillo from Sautee-Nacoochee, Georgia, moved to Seattle, Washington.

I met my husband there. I got my first “real” job there. I signed the lease for my first apartment of my very own, with no one else to pay my bills with me. I bought my first computer, my first furniture, and my first ferry pass there. I had my first brush with the legal system (don’t worry – I wasn’t arrested!) there. And now, sometimes, it feels like the most tangible connection I have to the city is the log-in screen on Windows 8.

I started this blog in Seattle. Really! Go back to my first post; I made it in Seattle.

I should be taking this weekend of solitude and putting toward crafting, and in a sense I am. Remember NaNoWriMo? Going steady at 77,870 words at the moment, and I’m just getting to the action.

Maybe I made this post because, in a buzzy haze, I was feeling nostalgic. But mostly I made it because I feel an immense level of guilt when I don’t post for a few days. So, in conclusion:

The people who complain about Marvel movies not being canon need to read comics in each decade and see how much is retconned.

Jeremy Renner is astonishingly handsome.

I like it that my coworkers tell me I can’t leave when my shift ends because they want me to stay.

Sierra Mist Cranberry is the best mixer for vodka ever.

Obligatory 2012 in review post

The first thing I want to point out is that I recently changed my layout, and it automatically capitalizes every word in my titles, and that bugs me a little bit.

Glad I got that off my chest.

As most of you already know, last night saw the last day of the calendar year that we have all agreed was 2012. The more I study math, the more I think things like time and calendars are both absurd and necessary. I understand it as a social construct to create some semblance of normalcy, and in that case, like language, it is absolutely necessary. But I also know that on a cosmic level, it doesn’t matter. And the more I think about that, the more I think that a lot of the trickster myths are spot on; paradox is everywhere.

2013 is starting here in Michigan with snow; it’s not sticking, but I like watching it fall on this quiet town.

Last year was a great year for me. I got out of the classroom and out of Arkansas, sparing my relationship in the process. I made another adventure cross-country to start a new life, and that is always a great thing. I married the best damn guy I’ve ever met, who is not only someone I can stand being around every day, but is supportive, fun, and just all around great. I know I like to poke fun, but really, I am a lucky gal. I was hired full time into a company that never hires new people for full time positions, and that job has me working with some great people. I finally applied to go back to school, and despite some hiccups of a bureaucratic nature, I can’t imagine it not happening.

Last year was all a huge stepping stone to set up for this year. All things remaining equal, this year will see us buying a house, my return to academia, and our one-year anniversary.

On the crafting front, I did some great stuff, too. I made a purse; I practically redecorated my brother’s room from a few states away, and I made a board game. My most popular post, by far, was my Guide to Failure, and I watched this blog grow from a tiny seed to a marginally sized plant. I consider that a success.

So, here’s to a new year! Keep it crafty!

The joys of Marvel Comics

AVENGERS 1 DEADPOOL GANGNAM STYLE VARIANT (NOW, WITH DIGITAL CODE)

This is a real cover, and my hubby just ordered it for me because…I mean…this is real.

A day off (revised)

I had what I thought was a witty post written about my largely uneventful day today. But I decided not to post it.

While I will be the first one to tell you that I like to be the center of attention, I realized, toward the end of the original post, that I am actually uncomfortable airing all of my grievances for the world to see. Perhaps some of my internal demons are meant to be internal, and maybe I don’t want everyone I know – and a few people I don’t – hearing the chorus of their voices.

So instead I will just leave you with the highlights:

1. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is a very funny musical, as its Commentary! The Musical extra. If you’ve not seen it, do yourself a favor and get on that.

2. Hawkeye is a real ladies’ man, and that is pretty cool. Also, boomerangs.

3. It snowed! Yay.

4. Freaks and Geeks, long touted as a must-see by my dad, is a must-see.

5. I get fuck-all done on my days off, and that really needs to change.

A new year begins soon. Hopefully it will bring with it a house, some inspiration, and school. And really, I cannot ask for more than that.

I don’t mean to brag, but…

I decided to make my coworkers a ginormous batch of cookies for the day after Christmas. All but one of us in the precinct is working the day after (aka “the Show”), and I think we’ll need some extra cheer during our busiest – and likely lowest attitude – day. And JT had us close a little early this evening, so that we could get home to our families, and I to my oven.

And I baked, dear reader; I baked.

I made a double batch of my favorite oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies, and a regular batch of my Christmas tradition cookies (this time with actual sprinkles!).

This is but a taste of the baking that ensued when I got home.

That’s great, but that does not explain my title. Oh, no. Feeling particularly bold, I decided to try something new. A month ago or so, Eric and I bought a donut pan. I have since made a batch, but as I said…bold. So tonight I thought “I know what’s Christmasy! Booze!”

I switched up the recipe that came with the pan and made chocolate donuts. And then I dipped those suckers in a Bailey’s glaze. BAM!

The pouring got a little messy... — The pouring got a little messy…

The batter for these is always a little thin, and after two batches of cookies, it was strange to work with. And also, I am messy, so there are little bits of batter all over the pan. Mmmmm!

Making the glaze. I had to add more sugar than I had intended...couldn't get it quite thick enough at first. — Making the glaze. I had to add more sugar than I had intended…couldn’t get it quite thick enough at first.

It’s amazing what I can do with only about 4 combined feet of counter space.

Dippin' donuts, Batman! — Dippin’ donuts, Batman!

And then, because I was feeling so very fancy, I decided to sprinkle a little sea salt on these bad boys to offset the sweetness.

These are not for my coworkers. These are for my hubby.

So, yeah. I don’t mean to brag, but I made some chocolate-bailey’s-glazed-donuts tonight. Merry Christmas to all!

Finalizing Christmas and old friends

Yesterday was none too pleasant and found me having a panic attack, curled up in the fetal position on my bed because I ran out of packing tape to ship presents. Needless to say, packing tape was not the real issue, and I spent the last few minutes before literally dragging myself up for work trying to pinpoint exactly what is eating away at me.

I thought I had worked some of it out, and I emailed an old friend who is as removed from my life as anyone, yet still as close to me as if I were 16 again. I woke up this morning to a response from someone who had clearly read between the lines and figured it out. I am grateful for that, and the only bittersweet part about it is my regret at not spending more time with this person when we were close.

So I went to work, and my dear coworkers all made the night worth working. Albeit there were a series of a very bitter and rude customers (Ho ho ho, assholes), the night was actually quite fun, and I found myself more than pleased to be in the precinct. Again, I am blessed.

Finally, upon walking into the dark house at around 11:30, I found a roll of packing tape stacked neatly on top of one of the packages that I will be sending out today. My husband may not have gotten the earful (eyeful?) of my angst/panic/disappointment yesterday, but what he did know about (and could fix), he did.

None of these things solve the problem, but I hope that they can help curb the impatience and fear and anger over this whole school situation. And perhaps the reason for it will become clear in a reasonable time, so that I’m not slapping my forehead one year from now saying “oh!”

In other news that you likely will be more interested in, Christmas is basically done. I am going to cave and buy Eric a few more things (they will be in his +10 Bag of Practicality), and I am starting on the Christmas game today, but otherwise: Mission Accomplished.

While I will still post separately about the other projects that Eric and I undertook for our edible gifts, I just want to celebrate actually finishing something this week.

The gifts, arrayed on the table and sorted

A sideways image of the CD I made for Joey

Now I have packing tape, so I am going to seal the boxes and walk them down to the post office to send off. The CD I made for Joe is probably my favorite; per my mother’s request, I put together an ensemble of super hero music, both score and lyrical. I hope he enjoys it, and I hope that my decision to keep Robot Rock by Daft Punk off of the disc helps maintain my mother’s sanity.

More on the specifics later, and also…new brakes!

For now, keep it crafty.

Limbo. Or “how TFA continues to screw with me”

I still hadn’t heard from GVSU by today, and while I wasn’t entirely surprised, I was concerned that perhaps there was some difficulty with transcripts.

Sure enough, for some unknown reason, I went against my gut and had listed my time at Delta State on my application. I thought I had deleted it before submitting it, but I guess I did not because they told me today that I haven’t heard anything because they haven’t gotten those transcripts. Of course, the only way to request them is by mail because Delta State is still caught in the days of the Pony Express. And of course they are closed for the winter holiday, so I could not get anyone on the phone.

And so here I am, suspended in animation – somewhere between settling for less than I feel I am capable of and actually doing something to remedy that fact.

The only reason I went to Delta State was because of TFA, and the only reason I am in Michigan now, toiling away in customer service, is because of TFA. I feel like a failure because of me, but it’s easier to blame TFA. I resent ever reading that article and deciding that I should join.

I feel…deflated.

I was called in to cover a shift tonight (4 to 11) for a coworker who is ill. I have already abandoned the Christmas spirit this year because I am too tired to care to do anything more than go through the motions. I feel that I am falling short because I don’t make enough money to get Eric all of the things he wants, and I know that he always buys me extravagant gifts. I feel inferior to him because of it, and that just saps the joy out of the gift-giving season for me. I have always preferred giving great gifts to receiving, and not being able to really do that…I don’t know. Commercialism is winning out right now, and my work in retail plays a big role in that.

And now I must wait even longer to feel that I am making a difference in my life. I cannot believe how insanely reckless I am sometimes, flying blind and charging ahead; this is always how it ends, and yet I cannot seem to change. I inevitably end up finding my oversights at a time when I can do nothing about it immediately, leaving me plenty of time to wallow in self-doubt.

The last thing I need to be doing today is dealing with people who are angry/frustrated/needing to fix something. I can’t even fix my own mistakes…

Sweet as vinegar

In addition to the peach-honey butter, apple butter, pickles, salsa, chips, and apple sauce that I threw together this year for Christmas gifts, I also decided to make my mom some cranberry-orange vinegar, since she eats a lot of salad. I thought it might make a nice, quasi-festive (read: cranberries) vinegar that she could use in a dressing.

Here is how I did that:

A half cup of cranberries and an orange. Whatever shall I do with these?

Certain men failed to read the “6 Cups” of white wine vinegar, so I had only two cups, thus my only having a half cup and one orange. I used frozen cranberries because, well, they’re not easy to get fresh ’round here.

Sliced oranges and cranberries in a bowl.

I cut up the orange and the cranberries (as much as I could cut up tiny fruits) and put them in bowl. I crushed them slightly with another bowl and poured in the vinegar.

I place the covered bowl of fruit and vinegar on a bookshelf where it would stay cool. It sat there for ten days.

Crushed fruit in vinegar...still. — Crushed fruit in vinegar…still.

This is what it looked like when I opened it again to finish up. Mmmmm.

I used a sieve and cheesecloth (just to be safe!) to drain the vinegar and separate the chunky bits. It was nice and red and, again, festive.

The last part was just putting it in a nice jar. I didn’t bother processing it, so mom will have to use it fast. (Read that, mom? Make some delicious salad dressing when it gets to you!)

I tasted a tiny bit before sending it, and I will say that it is a very subtle taste. I think if you are not a fan of vinegar, you would want to let the fruit soak a bit longer. This made me a little antsy to try raspberry vinegar next.

I have tomorrow and Wednesday off (hooray!), so I will have to write a few more posts for the remaining projects. I ship everything tomorrow, but I took plenty of pictures. For instance – tortilla chips! CDs! Etc! And I’ll post pictures as I start/work on/finish the board game I am making for gift opening on Christmas.

Keep it crafty!

Comfort in trivial things

I had my project for this post done yesterday, but I felt…silly, I guess, for wanting to post about it. But working in the kitchen, doing something with my hands in general, always makes me feel a little bit better about the world. The universe seems so much simpler when I view it through a measuring cup.

When we face the horrific parts of life, it is natural to seek the comfort of normalcy. Mine are the anise cookies that my grandma made every year for Christmas. It’s been years since I had them, but they always mean Christmas to me. So last night, trying to find some comfort and sense in the world, I decided to make them for the first time.

I used three recipes kind of rolled into one.

Smaller balls of dough that baked into comfort

It’s a simple recipe, really, and a simple kind of joy.

Sugar glaze. I didn't have sprinkles, so I put food coloring in it, instead — Sugar glaze. I didn’t have sprinkles, so I put food coloring in it, instead

I guess it’s fitting. No one can go back in time (yet), so I made the cookies with my own twist.

I still feel silly for posting – who the hell cares about my cookies?

But if you are looking for some meaning, or reason, or little tiny piece of joy in an otherwise dark time, then all I can suggest is that you find a recipe that you remember with comfort, and you go bake.