I have dropped so many balls

I’ve never learned how to juggle. My dad can juggle, and he’s tried to teach me, but I can’t seem to get a handle on it. This has greatly decreased my chances of fulfilling one of my life goals: becoming a magician. It’s like a thing with them.

But of course I’m only using that as a metaphor for how terrible I am at being a responsible adult with a job and a blog. For whatever reason I can’t seem to do both, and that’s a huge joke because I literally just spent the last three and a half hours eating a microwave dinner, watching Netflix, and getting lost on Pinterest. Three and a half hours. In that time, think of all of the productive things I could have done!

Here’s a list I came up with:

Do the dishes. Finally unpack the last box in my craft room that stares accusingly at me every time I go in there to pile more crap on my desk. Do some pushups. Read a book. Fold some clothes and put them away. Bag up the latest comics. Prepare more for my new job. Prep lunch for tomorrow. Any craft at all. Cut my fingernails. Update my calendar. Figure out what I’m doing with me life. Watch the DVD my counselor gave me. Literally anything else.

This is what paying rent, my phone bill, and getting a new job with a raise costs me in my life. I figure, hey, I already did stuff…why should I do more stuff? Better yet, I’ll look online at the stuff other people are doing. And watch this silly gif of Robert Downey Jr. being totally ok when a guy refers to him as “Tony” on accident.

Yesterday I booked the hotel room to attend comic con next weekend. I consider that a win for the entire week. And now look at me, over achiever, writing a blog post.

I also put together a snazzy email for my coworkers – a farewell to most, a raised middle finger to a very very select few one. I’m so bitter, and believe it or not, I haven’t even been drinking. The longer I’m in counseling, it seems the better stand up routine I have.

As far as crafting goes…I can’t find that spark. It’s been almost a year, and it’s just…gone. I’ve been cooking out of necessity, but mostly I wander around my kitchen wondering where the inspiration is. I mean, it’s on Pinterest, but it’s so much easier to look at the pictures than to make my own. And you know…I don’t have a dishwasher. Do you know how much that sucks? I have to do dishes every single day. Every day! They are literally never done. Right now I have a small pile in the sink, a pan on the stove, and a sad lonely plate on the counter. I did dishes this morning. Twice. I’m so tired of dishes. Baking requires the use of a lot of them.

And that’s what it boils down to. I am lazy. I am just so lazy and over it.

I don’t think having this new job is going to magically cure my lethargy, but maybe I can at least get it together enough to write more. So I’m going to try to add this one ball into the fray. And also not giggle every time I say the word “ball”.