Isn’t it ironic

When I was little, I had one of those domino knockoff things that had little steps and ramps, so you could almost set up an entire Rube Goldberg machine, were you so inclined. I say knockoff because they were colorful, and I know they were popular, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what the hell they were called. Colorful Rubes, for all I know.

Anyway, point is, I’ve been thinking about these things, stacking them, making intricate designs, and watching them topple over, one by one. A simplistic, yet elegant, example of cause and effect. Tap the first one, and they all fall over, knocking over their brothers and sisters. No matter how you set them up they would do their little thing.

So it makes me think about cause and effect in the real world, all of the little colorful tiles that we are, lining up to take out place in the chain, making some sort of pretty, intricate display for the universe. Every decision that an individual makes irrevocably starts that next chain, toppling over the next person in line who in turn makes a decision that topples the next and on and on etc.

How is it that every time I get philosophical I feel like I’m making excuses. I’m pretty sure this isn’t what self-forgiveness looks or feels like. I’m off track.

My point was that it makes me feel out of control in a way. I control my direct actions, obviously, but how many of those actions and decisions are based on the situations that were caused somewhere else down the line?

I don’t remember what got me here. It wasn’t the little Colorful Rubes; those came out of a greater thought process. And now…now I’m too tired and just buzzed enough to not care anymore. Conversely, I’m not buzzed enough to write the whole thing because while I’m watching the demon hunting stylings of the Winchesters right now, I’m not really in the mood to voice my own.

So just…ignore everything I just said. Or at least just take it with a grain of salt.