I woke up this morning with a craving for that almighty Dynamic Duo: chocolate and peanut-butter. Knowing that Eric and I are both trying not to become as wide as we are tall, I felt the best way to get my fix without overdoing it was to make something that he could take to his coworkers! I decided on peanut-butter and chocolate cookies.
It was, ah, an experience.
So the recipe I decided on seemed pretty simple. Here are the ingredients:
One and one quarter cup all-purpose flourThree quarters all-purpose flour and 2 quarters wheat flour- Half cup cocoa powder
- Teaspoon baking powder
- Half teaspoon baking soda
- Half teaspoon salt
Half cup butterHalf cup applesauce- Two-thirds cup brown sugar
One third cup granulated sugar- Two eggs
- Two teaspoons vanilla extract
- One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
Half cup peanuts- Coarse salt for sprinkling
From there, it reads like a normal cookie baking recipe. Mix stuff together, then bake.
Here is how it actually happened:
- I gathered my ingredients, along with my delicious Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale.
Mmmm! Cookies-to-be! 
- Not an ingredient, but it helps.
- I whisked together my dry ingredients, less the sugar. I combined my two types of flour, the cocoa powder, the baking soda, and the baking powder. This was easy!
This is a familiar shot, no? - Following the directions on the recipe, I used my $5(?) hand mixer from the ole Dollar General in Redfield to mix together the peanut butter, applesauce, and sugar. I drained the applesauce first because that is the latest baking trick I’ve learned when substituting it for butter, and I took out the granulated sugar because, come on, how sweet does it need to be?
Applesauce…minus the juice. 
- These will soon be a congealed goop.
- I added the eggs and mixed with the wet ingredients one at a time.
Dumpty is about to join Humpty in there. - I added the vanilla. Alas, I had just under 2 teaspoons. Looks like I need more baking supplies.
What?! Not enough vanilla?! NOOOOO! - I began adding the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. I remembered that the last time I used the hand mixer, it was a little crazy, so I did a little hand mixing first, to get it started.
- The hand mixer decided to be an asshole, so somehow, in the 10 seconds that I had it on, it managed to whip up the entire batter onto itself. Literally.
This is what happens when you skimp on kitchen equipment. - I gave the hand mixer the finger, pried the batter off of the mixer, and went outside to finish my beer, so it could think about what it’d done.
- I considered throwing the mixer away or donating it to Goodwill, though I am not cruel enough to wish this hand mixer upon anyone else in the world.
The battlefield: mixer, 1, me, 0. - Did I mention that this “7 speed” hand mixer really only has one speed?
- Once calmed down, I hand mixed the batter the rest of the way. It was relatively mixed.
I missed some bits… - I added the chocolate chips and, since I didn’t have peanuts, some extra peanut butter.
- I scooped up the batter into little cookie bits, dropped them on the pan (greased by Eric), sprinkled salt on them, and I put them in the oven for 12 minutes.
It’s not their fault… - I cleaned everything thoroughly, except for the ungrateful mixer attachments. Those I rinsed and then threw in the dishwasher because I was not about to give them the care that I gave to my mixing bowls.
- When the cookies were done, I took them out of the oven and scooped them onto my cooling rack.
There they are. The luckiest cookies ever.
The Debrief
Eric is a fan. I am a little a disappointed with this recipe. I don’t think the peanut butter has a strong enough presence in the over all taste. I am a fan of the sea salt sprinkled on top because it brings out the peanut taste a little bit. Maybe adding peanuts would have helped, but I’m not sure.
I did learn something useful about my hand mixer – namely that I got what I paid for.
And I guess, since I am not eating them all, I can be secure in the knowledge that there are other people out there who might enjoy them. And good for them.
You say Polymath like it's a bad thing... 